For a South Asian family, it’s nothing short of a catastrophe when the family heir announces they want to become a filmmaker. Medicine, engineering, or law—those were the sacred callings. Did Zayne not understand what was at stake? Generations of pride rested on his shoulders. The Khans had a legacy of success, and Zayne was supposed to carry it forward, shining as a beacon of achievement for the next chapter.
The announcement landed like a tornado. When Zayne declared he was switching his college major to film, the living room turned into ground zero. His mother, the self-proclaimed guardian of dreams and family honor, abandoned her cooking mid-stir and rushed to his side. Tears streamed down her face faster than her words could escape as she clung to him, her supermom cape figuratively flapping in the storm of emotions. She saw what he couldn’t—the storm of disappointment, the murmurs of disgrace, and the crushing weight of expectations looming on the horizon.
“Beta,” she whispered, clutching his arm tightly, “do you even know what you’re saying? What you’re giving up?”
Why is it that, in so many South Asian households, the “big three” careers—doctor, engineer, lawyer—are seen as the only legitimate paths to success? Everything else is dismissed as “wasting your time.” With over five million South Asians in the United States alone, how many future doctors, engineers, and lawyers can we possibly churn out? The words “pursue your passion” are often spoken, but they’re quickly followed by eye rolls and furrowed brows.
I’m not here to tell anyone to stop dreaming big for their children. Dream bigger, if anything. The higher the aim, the better. Even if they fall short, they’ll still land in a place of stability and comfort. Many of us sacrificed family, culture, and familiarity to move overseas, all to ensure our children wouldn’t struggle for a decent life in the United States. They’re equipped with good educations, and they should aspire to greatness.
This is what I tell my boys: “Get a solid, versatile degree—one that pays well and offers options. Work smart and carve out time for your passions.” Nobody is stopping them from chasing their dreams, whether that dream is running a food truck, flying planes, or becoming a social media influencer.
And yet, when the moment comes, many of us fall into the same trap as Zayne’s mom. We see the spark of determination in our children’s eyes, and while it terrifies us, we also can’t help but wish them well. After all, we raised them to dream big—so what if their dreams don’t look exactly like ours?
