Being athletic is never about the sport, it’s about character building and relationships.

Many that know him wish he didn’t leave so early? He was full of ambition and potential. With minor tweaks, he could have led the way.

He was always athletic; always trying new things. Whatever he touched, he blossomed. He mastered toddler swim lessons, tennis, basketball — you name it and he wanted to try.

Dashing home in excitement after surviving second week of kindergarten; he couldn’t stop talking about a running club. He said his P.E. teacher was leading a Saturday running club and she wanted him to come. Coach B was the first to recognize his athleticism, and she encouraged him all the way to running a 5k and moving on to triathlon.

His passion moved on to basketball, and he did wonderful for his team. He was MVP not for his basketball skills, he was recognized for reaching the basket while rest of his team was midday court. One time, we had to yell across the court to shoot because he was baffled why no one was guarding him; no one could keep up with his speed.

One Saturday morning, he wanted to accompany his dad to a club. His dad had been meeting friends to play squash and he wanted to see the facility from inside. He spent the afternoon throwing hoops, and sat by the squash court eating his snack. After the adults were done, he asked if he could try swinging the racquet.

The squash coach was at a nearby court packing up, and he offered to show him the “correct way”. He insisted that there were skills that had to be introduced first before swinging the racquet and smashing the ball across the court. As expected, he did magnificent following the coach, and that embarked my son’s journey into squash.

He entered the court with 100% energy and devoted his time and energy into learning the sport. It wasn’t too long into the journey that people praised him for his footwork. His ability to slide across the court and reach each serve was like a man dancing on the ice at winter sports. He picked up the skills quickly and knew what he needed to master the game.

He was a natural.

So why a boy with so much potential and natural talent, abruptly ended the game?

It took me longer to understand the game rules, then my three boys to pick up the racquet. In no time, we were commuting East and West coast for tournaments.

October of 2021, I accompanied my son to his tournament in Atlanta. He studied the stats and knew what the game required. He was thrilled. Atlanta has always given him a trophy and if he played his game right, he was walking out with a trophy and US squash ranking needed for college recruitment.

I admit, I didn’t know the game and couldn’t coach him. All I could do is work on his mind game and cheer him every step of the way. But I failed, and he gave him too quickly and lost the game.

Shattered, he isolated himself to the corner. I knew that he was thinking all his dreams to play in college were slipping out of his fingers. He was devasted and it was breaking my heart.

What I didn’t realize how much he was dreading to face everyone? This was not his first loss so I was taken up with little surprise. He was disappointed that he failed his father and that he not only will he be answering him but also his coach.

I never wanted to instill fear in him. He was a happy boy who enjoyed sports dearly. He was competitive in nature and thrived on praises. He knew how to accept loss and worked harder, but this time it was different and he was in darken thoughts.

Next Tuesday, he returned to practice but he didn’t play with the same vigor. Before the next tournament, he got injured. The doctor asked him to rest his ankle for 6 weeks. He took a long time to recover while his friends continued to play.

Then his one coach temporarily moved out of the country and second coach took a break to reconsider coaching. That was the breaking point for the club; more than half the kids left and joined nearby coaching facilities. My kids were left with no coach and friends.

We were still committed to the journey. My kids practiced solo. Their father helped with the drills. They even invited few friends to play because now the courts were always available. We even drove further and got few training sessions.

One evening, I helped my son face his father and admit his heart was no longer in squash. He no longer wanted to play competitively. The conversation got louder and hurtful. We just didn’t want him to give him and now his coach was back and he had his full attention.

The tone changed. Everybody dreaded to talk about squash or the hour ride to the club. I started getting more involved but our oldest was so far from the sport.

Now, that he is recreationally playing (till he leaves for college), the new coaches and old athletes ask him to come back. His old coach asked for 6 months to move up his ranking. His best friend asked him to play for college. He gets frustrated and wants no conversation around squash.

Now looking back, there is a lot we could have done differently.

• We shouldn’t have only depended on a coach to train him. We should have been more physically involved.
• We should have concentrated on the fun of sports and not the competition.
• We should have celebrated the process and not just the wins.
• We shouldn’t have questioned the losses as much as we did.
• We should have advocated for our children every step of the way, and not get them sidelined to more convenient time.
• And most importantly, we should have left squash to the court, and never brought it home.

There is a lot squash build in my children. It takes a stronger mindset to play an individual sport and then play it competitively against your friend. These kids played a phenomenal game inside the court but the mind game they were playing outside of the game was miraculous. It is not easy to have a crowd of people cheer or boo you, or question your serves after the game.

We have always known that saying goodbye to squash would be difficult. We had invested six years into the sport. Everybody around us knew we bled squash. What I didn’t know that it would pull apart our relationship with our son, and that is the deepest loss.

I hope just as squash built strong athletic abilities in my children for the court, it builds even a stronger relationship with family and family outside of the court.