Another chime?  A notification pops up again for a new post on #xylo2020. “Why do you keep taking his pictures?” Every moment spent with Xylo is another reminder of a Grammy I won two years ago.  Xylo is our mastiff pup who was barely three weeks old when he came into our lives a day or two after my 40^th birthday.  It was the peak of COVID-19 and we had just moved into our new home; and kids wanted a dog.  And when I said that I wanted something I could remember for my milestone birthday for years to come, I meant a crafting gadget, a piece of jewelry, or a new car, but what I got was an experience I would cherish for my entire life.

Ever since I could remember, I have been terrified of dogs.  I have yelled with all my might, climbed cars, jumped on appliances, hidden behind furniture, and I have even digged my nails into people around me to hide my discomfort around their furry friend.  You name it, and embarrassingly enough, I have done it.  I can’t remember a particular incident which led to my fear, but my guess would be stray dogs on the streets of Karachi. All I saw was their fierce teeth, sharp staring eyes, and high-pitched barking. 

However, I have also always appreciated the bond between a human and their pets.  It’s amazing to see a child bond with dog or cuddle with his cat.  Rain or shine, my mom has always prioritized her birds.  Therefore, I didn’t want to snatch that bond from my kids.  Last thing I want is for my kids to pick up on any of my fears/ discomforts.  I have never attended my kids’ swim lessons because I didn’t want them to know that I can’t swim.  And similarly, I didn’t want them to lose an experience of owning a pet, so I supported them when the boys wanted a pup in the new house. 

Hours went to days, and weeks were approaching to a month when my husband advised that if I ever wanted a bond with Xylo, I should start now. We had a giant breed on our hands and he wasn’t always going to stay 5 lbs.  He was growing fast; from wobbling down the step, he was now running after a ball or chasing kids.  I thought about it.  I hesitated but then I took a gentle stroke over his black coat.  Then, one night, he wouldn’t eat.  Kids took turns to feed him but he wouldn’t. My husband wasn’t home and I called him in panic.  Who knew that it was okay for a dog to skip a meal or two?  I remember approaching Xylo with his food in my fist. I closed my eyes and I loosened my fingers, and something rubbed against my wet palm.  I nervously opened my eyes and my oldest was petting him while he ate out of my hand.  And that was the beginning of countless memories of how Xylo and I slowly started to bond. 

Today, I am a proud dog mama. 

• I feed him.
• I bathe him.
• We go on walks.
• We play fetch and tug.
• I stroke him to sleep.
• I talk to him. 
• He wags his tail in happiness.
• He whines at the door to call for a playtime.

The bond I share with him is speechless. I wish there were more time in a day that I could spend with Xylo.  He plays on good days and on not so good days, he just lays next to you as if he understands that all you need is good company.  He doesn’t criticize how I cook or clean or how I dress.  He waits patiently for you to make time for him.  He holds on to the time he does spends with us.  His drool all over our newly laundered pants screams his unconditional love for his family. I watch him scout the house for golfers or street crew, and similarly he watches me go up and down the stairs picking up after my kids.   He has definitely imprinted our hearts.  He is not perfect, but he is FAMILY, and family always comes first!